Black Country news and blogs Friday 19 September 2014
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The Plastic Hippo

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This is the day 

18 Sep 14

The polling places have closed, the ballots have been cast and the votes are being counted…

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Deep in the heart of Texas 

17 Sep 14

Every few years the Lone Star State of Texas huffs and puffs and threatens to leave the United States of America…

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Good morning North Korea 

15 Sep 14

The BBC has today found itself at the centre of controversy as thousands of confused viewers and listener jammed the corporation`s switchboard with complaints of baffling, inaccurate and misleading news reporting…

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13 Sep 14

To speak ill of the dead is usually considered disrespectful and to raise a parting glass to celebrate the passing of a former human being is, in some quarters, viewed as a mortal sin…

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Who`s afraid of Fiona Woolf? 

8 Sep 14

There was a time when it was relatively simple to kick something toxic into the long grass and be fairly confident that the general populous would not notice the stench…

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Wishing on a star 

6 Sep 14

My God; it`s full of stars Politics by anecdote is no politics at all and when a politician justifies flawed policy by spouting spurious anecdotal evidence you can rest assured …

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Grandma`s footsteps 

1 Sep 14

What`s the time Mr Wolf…

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Sutton Hoo? 

28 Aug 14

He might have a lot on his tiny mind at the moment, but it is possible that South Yorkshire PCC Shaun Wright is considering making a large donation to the election fund of the bringer of earthquakes the mighty Douglas Carswell…

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Lesbian lizards from space 

26 Aug 14

It is surprising how quickly the world returns to normal after a week or so away and once the front door has been forced open against the pile of correspondence and once the countless emails have been ignored, it is almost as if the holiday never …

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Bright young things 

17 Aug 14

There has been some rather lurid speculation that a small group of Old Etonians are formulating the manner, style and objectives of government but this conspiracy theory is as unbelievable as the outrageous allegations made against famous, white, …

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Deepening like a coastal shelf 

15 Aug 14

Of all the important things taught at seats of learning both great and small, how to be a parent stands little chance of being included on the curriculum…

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A nasty smear 

11 Aug 14

If anyone is qualified to know stuff, then God knows there is precious little for humanity to be either cheerful or proud about at the moment but, as we descend into barbarism, we can always rely on the Farage Army to keep our spirits up…

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Another Walsall pub vandalised 

9 Aug 14


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Over-promoted, incapable, incompetent 

6 Aug 14

Enjoying yet another holiday in Portugal pointing at fish, David Cameron will be delighted that Baroness Sayeeda Warsi has picked her moment to jump overboard just as the nets of moral outrage snag the truly awful coalition government…

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All over by Christmas 

4 Aug 14

Today, the beginning of the First World War will be marked with solemn remembrance of the soldiers who fell and the civilians who perished; there is little point in commemorating the 1918 Armistice…

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Laws unto themselves 

1 Aug 14

It is irrelevant to ask who Nicky Morgan is because the correct and only answer is that she is not Michael Gove…

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Sober in the morning 

30 Jul 14

When a leader of the opposition feels that it is necessary to give speeches and interviews to apologise for being physically unattractive, the tipping point between reality and abject absurdity has been reached…

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The people have spoken 

25 Jul 14

Well, to be precise, 2250 people have spoken which is about 22 per cent of those eligible to vote in the Walsall Birchills-Leamore by election…

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In the Ghetto 

23 Jul 14

On a bright and sunny Walsall morning another little shady deal is born in the ghetto…

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Eyeless in Gaza 

21 Jul 14

It was no less a visionary than Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi who allegedly said that an eye for an eye leaves the world blind…

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Rump Parliament 

18 Jul 14

Given the long history of British democracy, it is almost reassuring to know that politics in 1648 was just as sordid as politics in…

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16 Jul 14

It wasn`t exactly a JFK moment or an Elvis moment or even a John Lennon moment but the day after Bastille Day 2014 is now carved into memory…

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Sleep well 

11 Jul 14

In these dark and perilous hours, my thoughts and prayers are with my fellow British citizens as we face the most grievous emergency to ever threaten the very existence of our proud and free nation…

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8 Jul 14

As a family, we are experts at dealing with unexpected calamity and the occasional crisis but Sunday proved to be cataclysmic as the full horror of the collapse of internet network connection visited our humble home…

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Ready to Rumble 

5 Jul 14

Just when you start to think that politics could not descend any further into the cesspit of disgraceful opportunism, along comes another piece of low life ready to plumb new depths of disrespect…

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Nat King Cole 

2 Jul 14

Decades before Will Smith`s fictional Fresh Prince migrated from West Philadelphia to Bel Air, singer and pianist Nat King Cole tried upward mobility for real…

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Journalism is not a crime 

28 Jun 14

The scandalous detention and outrageous conviction of three Al Jazeera journalists in Egypt is an affront not just to freedom of speech, but is also confirmation that corrupt governments will stop at nothing in attempting to control an independent …

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Waiting for an Alibhai 

22 Jun 14

The idea that Michael Fabricant would actually punch Yasmin Alibhai-Brown in the throat is as fanciful as the likelihood of the member for Lichfield being capable of aiming a punch without missing…

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My enemy`s enemy 

18 Jun 14

Diplomacy, according to Winston Churchill, is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions…

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Wake up and smell the coffee 

14 Jun 14

Enjoying a breakfast consisting of a croissant and a cup of strong Turkish coffee, a person from Scotland informed me of the news of the day via a radio manufactured in Taiwan…

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The Jumblies 

10 Jun 14

The notion of rote learning as espoused by Michael Gove suggests that if you memorise and recite something often enough, then dull repetition will be miraculously converted into knowledge…

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Gove vs. Reality 

8 Jun 14

With the best will in the world and summoning up all remaining reserves of compassion, empathy, forgiveness and basic humanity, it is impossible to like anything about Michael Gove…

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Los Reyes Catόlicos están muertos 

6 Jun 14

The origins of a united and powerful Spain can be traced back to the marriage of Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castile in 1469 and although they might only have been teenagers, when they later succeeded to their respective thrones – Ay …

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Let`s do the time warp again 

1 Jun 14

Whenever there is a shift in political balance, regardless of its magnitude, it is inevitably described as a lurch to something other than the status quo…

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Farage 24 

25 May 14

Now that state broadcaster Farage 24 has declared Nigel Farage to be the winner of both the 2014 and the 2015 General Elections, the publicly funded station can return to its bumper, post-election summer schedule…

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One trick pony 

21 May 14

Setting aside the slapstick buffoonery and deeply unpleasant hate-mongering, the one they call Nigel Farage has already achieved something quite remarkable…

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Glib Dem apocalypse 

18 May 14

Nick Clegg might be in possession of the shameless guile required to hype a public profile but he sadly lacks the arcane skill of necromancy…

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Get orf my land 

16 May 14

The unpleasant downside of the usual knockabout fun provided by local and European elections is the sorry spectacle of witnessing dysfunctional dregs of society emerging from the cracks in the pavement to seek 15 minutes of political attention…

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Flag of convenience 

13 May 14

There is much to be admired when a nifty bit of lateral thinking neatly side-steps an obviously embarrassing problem…

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There`ll always be an England 

10 May 14

There now follows a party political broadcast on behalf of the little England party which is also the UK entry in the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest…

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A year of living dangerously 

7 May 14

In slightly less than 364 days, polling stations across the United Kingdom will open for business in the great general election of…

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Catch a tiger by the toe 

3 May 14

I never use the words poisonous unfunny pillock and would never use them apart from on those occasions when I actually use them or when describing Jeremy Clarkson…

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Not Even Worth A Rotten Kipper 

1 May 14

After careful consideration and to quell intense media speculation, I have decided that I will not be standing in the forthcoming by election in Newark; wherever that is…

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Insult and injury 

27 Apr 14

Great fun can be had by hurling deeply offensive insults and aiming blood curdling threats of physical violence at real and imagined opponents in the strange reality television world of politics and football…

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As good as a rest 

24 Apr 14

Change, be it geologically imperceptible or earth shatteringly violent, shares the inevitability of both death and taxation…

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He is risen 

21 Apr 14

In these days of dissenters, heretics and false prophets, it is important to make clear that David Cameron did not compare himself to Jesus Christ and did not claim to be the Messiah; he`s just a very naughty boy…

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Through the looking glass 

17 Apr 14

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense…

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Careless in the community 

13 Apr 14

In imagined nostalgia, there was a time when a community was defined by its pub, church, post office and school and life in merry old England revolved from cradle to grave with reassuring certainty…

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Miller`s tale 

8 Apr 14

Regardless of hysterical media frenzy, the fate of the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport remains completely and utterly inconsequential and even if Maria Miller resigns or is banished to wander the barren corridors of the Welsh Office …

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Return to sender 

6 Apr 14

There was no ring of the doorbell or a knock on the door but the sound of a metallic slap was definite evidence of something coming through the letterbox…

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